Food and kids... any questions?

Hey everyone! Hope life is joyous and wonderful. Nick sent me this article and I find it to be spot on from my professional MFT perspective when dealing with food and little ones. It also points out a key symbolic or unconscious communication to children from parents, regarding trust. Allowing children to regulate their own food intake is a part of a more global communication or message we give to kids about our ability to trust them and their own judgements for themselves. It is interesting for me to consider what other relational issues or internal issues or problems kids may be having with parents who dictate or fight with their kids around food. Regardless of further implication, the article is excellent and I highly recommended applying the principles found in the article.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/raise-healthy-happy-eater-children/?cid=70.100

Lost in Translation

Just FYI this is kind of a ruff draft. I usually read over stuff about 1000k times before I post, this I have not, but I wanted to get it up. So you may see some language that needs fixing. Only human I am. :0)

It is true what they say that men and women are different creatures. We have same innards: a brain, lunges, stomach, and heart, but the rest well…lets say we are different. We both want success, we both want to feel important, we both want love, but how we go about endeavoring to achieve these goals are remarkably different. And let me say that it is OKAY that we are different; we don’t have to embrace the cultural wind blowing in our society that says that men and women have to be the same, do the same, think the same, to be equal (but that is another article, for another day). Our difference are most keenly manifested is way we use lexicon. Men and women speak a different language.

Coupes will often report to me in session, or I will hear them express, that they have the same goals, similar expectation, even the same sexual desires, but they all struggle to meet in the middle, or on the same page. They each struggle to feel loved, to feel supported, to feel understood, or to feel acknowledged and safe. The problem is not that they don’t have the love, the commitment, the attraction, the passion; the problem is they don’t know how to communicate, they are speaking a foreign language and the love, commitment, and the passion get horribly lost in the translation from speaking man to woman.

This crux in communication is no accident. Feeling connected emotionally and relationally to other human beings is meant to be difficult, it is meant to be work. The fantasy that loves comes without effort and with ease is nothing more than a fantasy. The belief that someone can understand you perfectly and then therefore act in perfect ways to support your needs perfectly is a nice idea for the movies, but not found in reality.

It is true that falling in love produces these types of experiences. It is true that there can be times, moments that our certain some ones gets us and acts in ways of great love and thoughtfulness. But an expectation that these moments and times will endure each day, every day for the eternity of a relationship is an expectation that will always go unmet. Why? Because you married to another human!

Men and women, husband and wife are meant to have a struggle. The process of becoming one, of becoming connected, is the process of individual and relational growth. The processes of being vulnerable and open, finding and feeling love, of trusting and changing is the process of becoming emotionally mature. This is the process of how we become a good soul, which each and every one of us want and need to do to have joy and happiness. Each and every human I have ever known wants to be good and wants to feel loved for who they are. Each of us needs to be loved (and feel loved) despite our weakness. Even the wicked horrible humans on our planet want love; they have just given up and falsely accepted or decided they are evil and so they become evil (and then there are sociopaths and attachment disorder and that is a whole other thing, but based on developmental experience void of love).

The difficulty in communication is experience of conversation. A perfectly tuned conversation is where you have the experience of sending a message, a thought, or a feeling and that communication is understood and confirmed. It is a situation where one feels sane. It is “a ratification of one’s way of being human and one’s place in the world” (Tannon, p. 5, 1987). It is the definition of acknowledgement. It is at the heart of feeling accepted and loved. The antithesis of this experience is the conversation gone bad; the conversation where you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, attacked, hurt, and ultimately isolated, alone and crazy. No one understands your heart, your motive, your fear, your pain; NO ONE understands what it is like to be you.

That is true to a point. The point where we can all identify with what I just said. That all of us struggle to be heard, acknowledged, and understood. We all feel alone, isolated, and unloved or unlovable. That is the human experience. That is an experience that can be swallowed up in the joy, confirmation, and connection found in a relationship of love and charity. One defined in these terms, love “suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (Moroni 7: ) It is also, meek, gentle, and un-pretended. It is based on pure knowledge, which enlarges the soul without hypocrisy and without guile, and it cannot be manifested without sacrifice - love.

Both men and women want status and connection in the worlds they live. Men’s communication and relational focus is around a world context of trying to be the top dog, or negotiating survival in the pack or pecking order. Our communication is based on being one up on whomever we are conversing with. This is not necessarily meant to put down, or to make one lower then ourselves, its not about have some narcissistic need to be the better or the best, it is just cultural fact that we as men live in a world of competition and comparison. Our relational training and verbal and non verbal language is to lead (for the strong, protecting, providing man is the valued man) and by nature makes it difficult to be emotionally and relationally close to both women and men.

Women’s communication and focus is around a world context to achieve cooperation and connection. “In this world, conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and reach consensus” (Tannon, 2001, p. 25). They work to preserve intimacy and protect themselves from isolation. They are the caregiver, the care taker, and women’s value is based on how well they are able to understand others and have intimacy with those in their world.

Is it clear from these scientifically proven strategies that there will be a fundamental conflict in opposite sex relationships especially romantic ones? This conflict is a natural extension of our cultural training. The question then is what do we do to make our relationships work when we speak such different languages?

The most basic, we do the work of creating a new language in our relationship. We take the time to talk about what we are talking about. This is called meta-communication. We take the time to have some pillow talk and try to express our motives, needs, and goals. We seek to understand what are partner wants and needs and we develop new phrases, new words, or come to redefine what words mean. I had couple I knew where if then husband said “that’s fine” it meant things were not fine, that it was a way of saying “whatever you want you selfish, self centered jerk will do it your way, like we always do.” For the husband it was just a way of saying, “okay dear that is how we can do it and I have no problem with us doing it that way.” They had to come up with a new word/phrase, one that meant to them both that the course of action that they were going to take on the bills or the dinner plans meant that they were both in agreement and both happy to go forward with a said course of action. That word could have been: “okay,” “I am happy with that,” “sounds good,” “awesome,” “agreed,” “let’s go,” etc. All that would have mattered is that they picked it and they defined it together.

This essentially has to be done on every level for a couple to really be on the same page. It is also, interestingly enough, a process that promotes intimacy. In the struggle for shared communication or understanding something magical happens. A in group is created, an identity is formed, for the couple. Something that makes the relationship unique and special, it becomes a place of safety, a place of connection, and understanding, a place of acceptance, a place for love. A marriage.

Tannen, D., (2001). You Just Don’t Understand : Women and Men in Conversation. First Quill.

Tannen, D., (1987). That’s Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships. Ballantine Books: New York.

I know, a post about MJ from me?

Yeah I can't believe I am actually writing a post about MJ, but I read this story and it rung true for me. Consider this post as a way to honor my wife, who has always been a big MJ fan.

None of us will ever have the facts to know the ins and outs of the saga that was MJ life. None of us can judge him on how the Media has portrayed him, so after reading this story from someone that supposedly knew him. I have decided to accept and remember MJ in this light.

As a man with extraordinary talent. As a man who had a kind soul who was hurting and didn't want others to hurt. A man who sought to use his resources to heal and help others. A man that was chewed up, abused, and spit out by a cut throat music industry that is based on the bottom line $$$$.

I think his music is a reflection of the man he was. Case in point is one of my favorite songs by far from MJ "Man in the mirror." A deep and insightful song; one that carries a message that it is essential that we all understand about ourselves, our lives, and our relationships both to our loved ones and to humanity at large. It is a song where I think MJ bears his soul and expresses his deepest motives whatever his weaknesses may have been.

Let us not gawk and obsess over the details of this mans life, but rather honor the tribute and contribution he has made the the world at large in message and music. Let us be kind and let his children grow without morbid curiosity. I am sure had MJ had the ability he would have found a greater platform for the message of hope and love the he clearly carried in his heart. I hope he is able to be at peace with himself. I hope Michael Jackson is experiencing great comfort in the next life. I know the likes of his talent this world may never see again.

"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change, For Once In My Life It's Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go. That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred, Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream. They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See Cause They Got No Place
To Be That's Why I'm Starting With Me

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror, I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
(Sub text or back up lyrics in the song)
No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
You Gotta Get It Right, While You Got The Time
'Cause When You Close Your Heart You Can't Close Your Mind!
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways (Better Change!)

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change

You've Got To Move! Come On! Come On!
You Got To . . .Stand Up! Stand Up! Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift Yourself, Now! (Man In The Mirror)

You Know It! Make That Change.

WHAT A FANTSTIC AND TIMLEY MESSAGE!!

Olive Branches Don't Break!

Have you even tried to break a small looking branch on a tree only to find it doesn’t break? Maybe you have been at play in the woods, gathering firewood while camping, or out pruning in the yard. You see a branch it appears weak and small, you reach out and pull, give a swing with an ax, or a squeeze with the sheers to no avail.

To your surprise, no crack, no break; rather your efforts to cut, to remove are met with dynamic resistance. You find the branch bends with great elasticity. You can pull, twist, hang, and bend, but the little branch just gives and flexes with ease? Often below the main layer of bark the vein of the branch is green, moist, and strong.

Our marriage relationships may likewise be strong and dynamic, if we are willing to extend an olive branch or two in marriage. Olive branches don’t break!

I don’t know much about olive trees, and I know even less about vegetation in general. But, I do know that olive trees must be old (at least 70 years or so) and mature before they are fruitful. I also know that olive trees take a great deal of time and care before they bear healthy fruit. I also know that the fruit of olive trees have endless uses: food consumption, cooking, grooming, healing, to name a few. I also know olive trading dates back as far as written history has the ability to record.

The “olive branch” is a common used symbol for peace, prosperity, and longevity. It can be found on flags, in political rhetoric, and poetic pros. Often when one speaks of reaching out to another it will be said, “I offered an olive branch, or he/she offered an olive branch;” meaning that one offered a truce or desired to end a conflict with peace and good will.

The nature of olives, the time and care required to produce abundant amounts of quality fruit, and the endless application of the fruit all serve as powerful examples and metaphors for relationships and the work and harvest they offer in our lives, and in our marriage relationships.

If we desire fruitful relationships steep in longevity and prosperity we must be willing to do the work of the gardener: prune, dig, water, weed, fertilize and most importantly wait. We must be willing to offer olive branches to the others in our lives for whom we care and desire peace and abundance.

I think of olive branches in marriage as gifts, not material gifts, but acts of generosity and love. Gifts, or unbreakable olive branches, need to be exactly what they sound like; un-obligatory acts of kindness and love, born out of a bubbling desire to make your spouse feel of worth, special, and safe. They are extended without the expectation of reciprocation.

You don’t bring flowers home with the expectation of intimacy, you don’t take out the trash because you don’t want to get in trouble, and you don’t agree and say “yes dear” just to keep the peace. You do all those things and MUCH MORE because you love and adore your spouse and you want them to know it through and through, nothing doubting.

Concrete olive branch extensions or gift giving may look like this: speaking in kind tones even in stress filled moments, forgiving you spouse quickly without guilt, leaving a note or notes under the pillow or around the house, writing & send a note snail mail, doing your spouse’s most hated chores for them, seeking to really listen understand, respect, and honor what they need, making dinner, make a gift, send a text. Act out of love to serve and give with out expectation of return. Whatever it is, if it is done in the spirit of giving to express love, the branch will be extended and it will be unbreakable.

When your spouse knows you love them unconditionally and you know that he/she loves you unconditionally, then the strife, conflict, and difficulty of marriage dissolve into a warm embrace of assurance that bring the sweetest peace known only in love and a strong and committed marriage.

Does your spouse know you adore them through and through? Do they know why you fell in love with them and what you love about them? Do they know what you appreciate about them each day? Do you know what your spouse needs and wants in the relationship to feel more happiness and joy? Do you know what makes them feel special and safe? Do you feel deeply committed and in love with you spouse?

There is just not enough true gift giving in marriage! To often relationships are about reciprocity and fairness, what one wants, and cost benefit. Instead they need to be about acts of kindness, moments where one spouse wants to truly understand the other, healthy sacrifice, and regular spontaneous acts of love. The paradox is in doing and acting in this way, extending olive branches, it actually increases the depth of love and bond we feel for our spouse. Extending olive branches in marriage is act of transforming love from a noun to a verb. Instead of thinking of it as something you feel, rather let it be something you do, or something you create and grow through unobligatory acts of kindness.

Are you serious?

I don't even know where to begin with this one? Can anyone else besides me comprehend the implications of where this could go? Do you know I want to protest just about everything I hear from the current administration. SO, does that make me a "Low-level Terrorist" threat?

Be sure to click the link to get the full gravity of what I am talking about.

Anybody eles littl worried about this one?

A sensible article in the NY Times?

It is true, difficult to swallow but true. Someone at the NY Times got it right. I hope Fox reports it! The long and short of the article… the Americans that most hope Obama will "save them" are the ones who will get hurt the worse with Obama’s new health care plan.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/14/us/politics/14address.html?_r=1&hp

Obama’s math and statistically analysis is beyond scary. I am sure you have all heard that the finical data for the new healthcare plan will be coming out of the White House instead of from the usual non partisian office on the Hill? What’s that mean. The books will be cooked a lot more than usual. The wildest part of his figures we are all ready getting is the level of assumptions the White House is making to cover the cost. There is no hard data to support the savings, just assumptions. As the article points out...

“Mr. Orszag said hospitals could figure out ways of treating patients “more effectively, through health information technology, a nurse coordinator instead of an unnecessary specialist,” for example. These “productivity adjustments” would account for $110 billion in savings.

Second, the administration expects to lower payments to hospitals that treat large numbers of low-income patients. Medicare and Medicaidmake special extra payments to these hospitals, but Mr. Orszag said those payments would become less necessary over time, as more of the nation’s 45 million uninsured acquire coverage through the new program. This would account for $106 billion in savings.”

All this means is lower income people will get lower quality of care and less treatment and we will pay more for it.

SAD. :0( I hope the liberals pick up on this. But if there failure to report on the facts is as acurate as there reflection on the unemployment figures, well.. were in trouble. I suppose there is hope since I found this article on the NY Times, but how many people dig to find a reason to not support Obama?

Peeps part 2… (to see my main peeps just scroll down)

SO, beyond my immediate family there are others, many others to recognize.  I will point up those whom with I share residence on Sweet Dream Farm.  Yes, residence…  I know 14 on one farm?  What, don’t ask me I just do what the Lord tells me and here we are.

Sara the Kind

All that is currently good and joyful in my life, in some measure, is due to this fine lady.  She reached out to be nigh 15 years ago and gave me a gift (the gospel of Jesus Christ).  One that continues to give to this day.  One that has allowed me to be my best and one that has opened the door to God’s most choice blessings.  She is full of love, she is kind, and she gives in a way that is supportive to me every day.  Where would I be without this lady?  I love you Sara! 

Vaughn the Peculiar

Vaughn is peculiar in the most positive way.  When I say peculiar I mean “distinctive in nature or character from others” and “belonging exclusively to some person.”  His ways are his own.  I have known many an individual in my days, but I know of only one Vaughn.  He has heart full of love, he holds no guile, and he lives without complaint.  He is a well spring of knowledge and my heart finds continual peace when I have chance to enjoy his company, I especially enjoy working beside him on the farm.

Amanda the Spiritual     

Amanda is the sister I never had.  I love, care for, and think of her as a sibling.  I long for her to smile, and much like her dad Vaughn, my heart finds great peace in her presence.  I find her mysterious in the most lovely way.  Her thoughts always give me pause and expand my understanding.  Her humor kindles my soul and her voice mingled with music always brings me to tears.  If the heavens parted in song it would sound like Amanda when she sings.

Phil the Chigger

If Amanda is the sister I never had, that would make Phil her husband the younger brother I always wanted.  Phil has the most keen auditory memory known to man.  One day he will find it great purpose, but currently it serves his humor well.  He has a well of bad jokes, a recall of movie moments for any situation, and the skill of voice to impersonate almost any persona (he can’t do New Zealand accent).  He is talented with the chainsaw, the sledge hammer, and the Chiggers, so stay away Zombies.

Dallyn the Fast (son of Amanda the Spiritual and Phil the Chigger)

Whatever this guy does he does fast.  This little man has a clear idea the way life should be and that is just how it is.  Mainly this involves McQueen, Spider-Man, and keeping a bit of food in his mouth for hours.  This little guy is a just as cool as they come, no doubt him and Jack will be fast friends for a long time.

Asia the Active (daughter of Sara the kind and Vaughn the Peculiar)

Asia is non stop.  She trips with grace and speed all the while enjoying life with a giggle and a smile.  This little lady is inclined to laugh and joke.  She loves her family and loves to have a good time.  Her physical prowess is unequaled and she is bound to athletic greatness ones she finds her nitch.     

Annie the Imaginative (daughter of Sara the Kind and Vaughn the Peculiar)

Annie is wise beyond her years and she is simply a good.  But with all her maturity there is an imaginative, creative genius at work.  She spends a great deal of her time leading the rest of the kids in wild farm adventures against robbers, dead man, and wild life.  Ample time is also devoted to song writing and Lego building.  Annie is a treasured soul.

No more bible study at home....

Um....WHAT?  So, if a Mormon family of 8 has their extended family over for FHE or some new members do they have to get a permit?  This is just crazy.  Check out the story.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,522637,00.html?mep

GOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo Obama!  I guess this it is okay for the San Diego authorities to out law a dinner and a bible study in a citizens home because we are not a Christian Nation.

Well, I am not drinking the Koolaid.  :0)  Are you?

 

Loving like a child in marriage

The Master, even Jesus Christ was once quested.  “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven?”  He answered, “I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 18:1-5).  So likewise, except both become like a little child in marriage you shall not have a happy enduring relationship! 

Just as heaven requires child like qualities so does a celestial marriage! 

Other prophets have spoken of these childlike qualities, “ye must become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mos. 3:19). 

It may be difficult to equate the feelings and persona of a child to something as serious and mature as the marriage relationship.  Nevertheless, an enduring marriage requires the meekness, the humility, the hope, the vulnerability, the spontaneity, and the simple loving and forgiving nature of a child in order to thrive. 

Being childlike may seem dangerous and naïve, silly and trite, but is it that much of a stretch to consider the each of us has a struggling child within?  Either trying to find its way out, or trap hiding scared.  Think about when you are at your worst, when things are bad, and the future is grim.  Isn’t there a part of you that regresses, acts out, and throws a temper tantrum?  Don’t each of us have a raging little Chuckie embittered and hurt who wants to react in unconscious rage to hurt when we have been hurt; to scream and tirade when the will of the universe is conflict with our own?

You know the times when you yell, the time when you cry, the times when you pout and quit, or the times when you feel small, powerless, and defeated?  Yes each of us have a vulnerable little child hurt and trapped, anxious and eager, for love, attention, and approval. 

The opportunity and invitation of the Lord is clear.  We must be as a child. 

We MUST taken on, or let out, the child within.  We must do as the Lord suggest, “become like little children.” 

We must rise up, and act with the innocents and imagination. We must take the curiosity, will, and creativity from the child within and put it to work.  The bruises and wounds sustained in a mortal life often need nothing more than a kiss and a kind word to heal.  Sometimes the perceived boogie men in the closet are nothing more than a shadow in the dark and doubtful corners of our mind.

We can recognize this and act from a place of power and experience.  Allowing the wisdom from our wounds to info the boundaries we must make to protect the vulnerability of the child within, not shut it in and lock it up never too feel the excitement and adventure of the day dawn. 

We must not over compromise with the logic of an aged mind neglecting the child within, but balance the experience of age and spontaneity of youth.  Rather, let us go forward in united determination; one of innocents and knowledge.  Taking steps toward a life of promised prosperity and joy with the exuberance and elation of the beginners mind.  We must dare to dream, and dream big.

In marriage let the child out to play.  You must be inquisitive and open.  You must be forgiving.   You must be vulnerable and meek to be heard and understood.  You must have a mind to trust and believe in possibilities.    

I cannot stress enough the importance of the childlike mind to imagine and create with hope the expectation of something magnificent.  This is required, as the Lord states, for a joyful end.  You have to conceive if you are to create it.  “For as a man [or child] thinketh in his heart so is he.”

My peeps..

Hi all! 

I am such a blessed man.  One of the main reasons for this is all my peeps.  I have great peeps that stand behind me, beside me, in front of me, all around me.  Let me introduce a few of them too you.  First my family.

Nicola the gorgeous!

This is my lady.  She is who I breath for, live with, love.  Words just don't get it done when it comes to describing what is in my heart for her.  We are one, we will be together forever!  Lucky me! She does it all and she does it GREAT.  "She's so go!", has the perfect smile, the biggest eyes, she defines beauty and she is a worker. She works with love in her heart serving many each and every day happily.  She is a treasure. I adore her and seek to bring her happiness each day.

Immanuel the talker!

This young fella is a motor mouth.  And for as much as he motors he also has a curiosity for life that is insatiable.  He is kind hearted, inclined to please, and always interested in a good time.  He is active and spirited in all that he does.  I'm not sure where he gets the non-stop gab, but his big eyes and smile are all his mom.  I love this kid deeply and hope my short quick reproof's which come a little too often for this little one, don't infect him with resentment for his dad.  I just want others to know him like I do.  Naturally spiritual and almost always kind and tender hearted.

Eden the Mature!

Eden is like a little Nicola.  They are pretty similar in every way.  Eden is extremely dependable and mature.  She is even mature in the ways that are less than perfect :0).  Eden is ever about watching Jack, helping her mother, or participating in a project.  She is quick to serve and egar to be involved.  The only time she shrinks are on Mondays when it is time to get back to work on school work.  She is full of smiles and is wise beyond her years.  She is destined for great things.  I'm already proud of who she has become.

Sarah the Curly

Sarah's persona is as cute and sweet as her curls.  She is ever at Mommy's side.  She loves her little brother with a sweet endearing love.  She is shy at times, but once you get beyond the shyness there is a bond that is unbreakable.  She has a gift to heal with her love and quick to forgive.  She loves babies and sings when she is most happy.  I love this little lady with all my heart.

Jack the Happy.

Jack is just a sweet guy.  He has been an excellent baby.  Only inclined to cry with tooth pains and tired eyes.  He is quick to smile and inclined to explore and play.  He is full of love for all in his family and he has taken to non stop baby talk.  He knows what he is saying even if you don't.  So, listen up.  Everybody loves Jack, he gets lots of positive attention from all on the farm.  He especially "loves technology, but not as much as you, you see, but he still loves technology."  

There are many more peeps I want to recognise, but they will have to come in part 2 of my peeps. 

Be well.

John

Here's...... Johnny

So I have never thought of myself as a writer, but maybe I can be a blogger? 

I have a friend that sent me a link to her blog http://imsofunny.blogspot.com/  and I had heard a lot about blogging, who hasn’t, but I was ignorant to what blogging was about.  Well I read her post and made my way around reading other bloggers post and well....  I’m hooked.  There you go, and here I am.   

I write a newsletter on my website. http://www.allinthefamilytherapy.com/ I am a marriage and family therapist, and this blog will serve as a platform so I can fulfill one of the key missions of my organization or practice, to "promote family life education."  For the other things I hope to do see the site.  It will probably be where I vet out ideas and begin the process of trying to articulate them in a way that is interesting and enjoyable to read.  You will probably see some duplication from here to there.  So, I invite you to challenge, question, or comment.  Remember I am a “blogger not a fighter.” 

I think there is too much debate and not enough discussion.  We can all fall victim to becoming too emotionally wed to our ideas and thoughts.  Instead we must have a child like mind.  One that is open, curious, inquisitive, and imaginative.  Opinions are good, values essential, but ideas dynamic.  What a different place our county would be in the public sphere if we could listen and negotiate, instead of deride and put down.  If we have to put down to make our point stand above another, then I think that manifest weakness and insecurity.  Truth needs no such vice.  It is quick and powerful and disarms with grace and ease, because darkness cannot remain in the presence of light.

So, much of what I will write about will be therapy or family life issues, self help type stuff and the like.  In addition I am sure I will have everyday life thoughts and questions that I am sure will find their way here and you can bet there will be some political thoughts opinions, religious thoughts, maybe a poem (if I am feeling confident), and whatever-else-thoughts too.

So, blame Alice.  It’s all her fault.

Thanks and happy reading!

Be well, John